Honey, the days when you were trained to speak softly and carry lip balm are over!

The first week of Coast went well, too much prep meetings and me getting acclimatized with this slow side of Kenya that I had to miss some awesome lunch date I had been invited to yesterday. Anygay I still got a fortnight. I had to come back late last evening to hold brief in office today since most of my colleagues are attending that guy’s burial( Remember the one I told you died in office?) Nevertheless, I will resume my assignment first thing tomorrow morning. First world pains I call it!  Izaak m (our guest columnist for the rest of this month while I’m gracing Coastal streets) has this thing going on about never cooking in a guy’s place especially in the first stages of dating that is if you are lucky enough to get there. I get his point because in all pretty boys’ honesty, what time will you enjoy being a boyfriend?

Pretty boys still subscribe to the school of thought that the way to a man’s heart is his stomach. This theory bit the dust when blow jobs were invented! And just for purposes of clarification, a pretty boy ain’t necessarily a bottom but the term loosely refers to any queer guy out there who takes a receptive role in this side of the planet. I’ve seen some capable Tops who bottoms have designed them into what they desire and even their drama beats that of some first class bitches that are dicked in this county! Let me leave all these Top-bottom BS for the next to be published Bottoming article (By the way, the modest motel room I’m putting up in is really conducive for writing)

Let’s get your usual music dose going:

A guy expressly asks you out and you come up with the idea that you should go Dutch. I know we like flaunting that we are independent and all but seriously, what time will you really enjoy being out on a date? A guy asks for your number and after him not calling back immediately you decide that you are the one who will make the first call, gosh! Since when did pretty boys become this aggressive? You are always the one planning your trysts, you get to choose all the meeting venues and still complain that he doesn’t know great places (No wonder you are being taken to those fast food joints where the menu is on a wall and someone else is being taken to sirimon Gate for a weekend by the same brute)…We really fried ourselves…

A guy may be as hawt and as popular as fuck but pretty, get over yourself! You have other business than being the one to always entertain a fully grown fellow man yet you aren’t getting paid for it. Then it gets to the point where pretty boys unanimously decide that no good guys exist. C’mon while you were busy forgetting the being hard to get maxim, guys got power over you and you still ask why they forgot to send you the damn memo?

This weekend think about the things that really matter (Including dick or man pussy), Izaak still opines that just because the guy fucks really good doesn’t mean you love him. In fact, last week when he handled this segment he really got me thinking…

You woke up to that crinkled used-up condom in the carpet in some nasty bit of Nairobi and/or Mtwapa you’ve never been before, you’ve realized that you are the one he spends only Friday night with (since he’s been stood up by that other random bitch) and yet he’s never available on Saturday and Sunday, You are the one who lies in that bed. Cold, naked, ashamed with a painful bugina…

Pretty boys fried themselves when the code was right before their eyes! Honey, the days when you were trained to carry lip balm and speak softly are spent! 

Be the star!