Little Pieces of Heaven...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

A C.D.R Special on World AIDS Day 2013

The greatest challenge of all time that I’ve had to deal with is “stigma”. For the fear of being alienated by my immediate family members, I’ve avoided telling them of my HIV positive status… it has become a bit hard to find someone compatible as a life partner due to my current health state. This is because there is the common notion that anyone who is single and HIV positive must be or was morally loose or cannot be able to satisfy the sexual needs of the other person - something which is not true. In short, I have very few true genuine friends. The only way out of this problem has been to be mum about my condition and that is how have managed to come this far… when you are HIV positive one becomes a ‘loner’. Not because one wants to but circumstances force you to.

To the vulnerable young gay men who are in their early youth hood, those in their late teenage years, Always insist on using a ‘condom’ if you do not know the HIV status of your ‘partner’. Act on the information you have at hand because you have a whole life ahead of you. And to those who are HIV positive like me, please let’s act responsibly by protecting those that we ‘love’ - Charles Baraka. (Excerpts from an Article dated May 2013)

*******

Prologue

Cole: Before you do your thing, I'd just wish to say your efforts to enlighten our generation are very much appreciated. Yours has been a journey full of its own intrigues but you still manage to keep your head high and tackle life as it comes. I'm awed by that. You are meeting a need as a young man living positively for seven years and just on the strength of that, I do celebrate you Charles Baraka, not only as a friend but also as a force in the community! C.D.R is honored to host you today.

Charles: Aww...Cole. That's so thoughtful and kind of you. Much love and thanks!  What you have you been up to though? We haven’t met since that dinner at your place.

Cole: Oh, the one you gate crashed? Well, you know me. I was cursed with an expensive taste and less money. So last week after I left C.D.R, I had to take one of my friends to the tattoo parlour, moral support and all. Are tats even moral? So the artiste did his thing, shows her the needles to confirm they are new, tests his device etc. But you should have seen her face when the needle met her skin. You know that look when you’re losing your virginity to a well endowed man who’s oblivious of your pain? It was Priceless!

Charles: I don’t know the losing the virginity face…

Cole: (Rolls eyes) This is coming from someone who has had sex in the back of a Prado and has burnt a dildo for spiritual reasons? Come to think of it, you know I’ve never had sex in a car. It just feels…inopportune.

Charles: Shh...on that dildo story; Wait, what? Bitch, you’ve lost out…never been serviced in a car? (Shakes his head in disappointment)

Cole: I’ve made out though. It was in a Vitz at Oil Libya in Westlands…

Charles: (Pulls the seat close) And?

Cole: Look at you. That’s a story for another day.

Charles: (Clicks) Fine. By the way if you had continued, I would have told you about this guy who’s a really great husband material for you.

Cole: Is he 6’3, dark, handsome, rich and smart?

Charles: (Smiling and imitating Cole) That’s a story for another day. What’s the deal with you and tall men anyway?

Cole: There is just an aura a tall man exudes. You imagine someone bending to give you a kiss, being lifted, placed on an office desk or counter somewhere...by the way last evening at the barbershop just when my barber was finishing up, this 6’4 tall tower of water walks in. My eyes were no longer in my control.

Charles: I bet you undressed him in your head…

Cole: Well, not really. I usually profile a guy using his thumb. He never had a thick one. I bet his is just sizable that’s in terms of girth and length.

Charles: (sighing) Thumb?

Cole: Yes. The Thumb theory that states that if you want to get an estimate of the size of a guy’s wee wee, you multiply the size of his thumb by three?

Charles: Dear Lord…Huh? Anyway back to the husband candidate. He saw the picture I shared on the pilau we had at your place and approves. Great cutlery you have by the way.

Cole: Thanks. They are polished every time I feel horny and restless.

Charles: That is so Bree…

Cole: (Grins) Did you say he saw the food first? I’m no longer interested

Charles: Why? Just because I’ve in the past talked about becoming a top’s history after he’s screwed you when you initially played hard to get in my woes of being gay column?

Cole: Yes. I’ll have to politely disagree with you there. The code is clear. As a bottom, I never look at my role as a source of victimhood; sometimes you only need some human warmth to get you through the cold night, that’s where a man comes in

Charles: (Laughing): Cole you are a bitch…

Cole: Not exactly. Nothing boosts myself esteem like seeing these young hardworking boys who sit behind mahogany tables during the day, take part in high level meetings, sip champagne they’ve paid for at the end of the year and at the end of the day they are still proficient enough to roll down rubber down the length of their top’s junks…by the way speaking of rubber what’s your opinion on the looming condom shortage next year?

Charles: I highly doubt there will be any.  NASCOP has already started delivering over 10 million condoms countrywide.

Cole: Wow, you mean we shag that much?

Charles: If you put it that way.

Cole: It kind of reminds me. The other day I was visiting an entirely male prison. They have a splendid health center. So we were told that a number of the inmates are apparently living positive. The most obvious thing I thought of asking the lady nurse is whether they provide them with condoms but then I was like, it’s prison, conjugal rights are nonexistent. What’s your take on this?

Charles: Well, that’s an intriguing area and the Government together with health stakeholders need to have a difficult conversation over because it’s open knowledge guys bang each other in prison. We can’t give them condoms as it will mean we are promoting homosexual practices but measures to protect them ought to be created instead of burying our heads in the sand.

Cole: Sure thing. Not that I would have a problem dropping the soap in a penitentiary’s bathroom. Would you?

Charles: You need repair Cole! I hear there was a great movie yesterday to sensitize society on the virus…Had to sleep early after being up the whole of Saturday night at the bash.

Cole: Oh Yes. Kevin Mamboleo was the starring. He’s such a versatile actor.

Charles: The thespian from Changes?

Cole: Yes. The magic energy drinks can do on a Sunday night when you’ve got work the following day! I was almost passing out at 8.30p.m then I decide to have a glass of Red Bull so as to catch the usual guests on Sunday Prime Time News. So the fine Kevin comes on and does his thing. It was a very nice movie meant to encourage guys to get tested – Knowledge is Power – Then I flip to BET. The guys are flaming hot! I notice it’s Shuga 3: Staying Alive. I sat through it until it ended.

Charles: I can imagine. The good thing is that they were all geared to inform. That is what kills the stigma associated with HIV. Something I’ve been meaning to ask how was the last…sexperience?

Cole: Lord Have Mercy. After we’d both climaxed, he asks me to kneel down. So there I am thinking it’s a post coitus blowjob. He joins me on the carpet and wants us to pray for the sin we’ve just committed… (Phone rings) Oops, saved by the ring, rain check? (Cole excuses himself)

*******

The first day of December every year has been dedicated to raising awareness of the AIDs pandemic caused by HIV infection. Many activities and lots of money is spent on this particular day in creating campaigns more so encouraging people to know their HIV status. It involves lots of time, planning and budgeting so as to reach large audiences using the available modes of communication such as paid adverts on both print and broadcast media among others. This year’s theme is “Shared responsibility; Strengthening results for an AIDS free generation” geared towards reaching the adolescents who are increasingly becoming infected with HIV. To be precise those that are between the ages of 10 and 19 according to the WHO where a sharp increase in new infection has been noticed. By the end of last month, it is claimed that more than 2 million adolescents were known to be living with HIV. And by the end of last year we had at least 35.3 million people living with HIV globally. At this juncture allow me to pause and ask, “Do you know your HIV status? If you don’t, the question is why?”

What I am deriving from this year’s focal point is that more and more young people are having unprotected sex .Ideally, anyone who is of the above mentioned age bracket ought to be a school going child. Also, he or she should be taken care of by a parent or a guardian. The pertinent question is: where are we getting it wrong in raising our children? Have parents and guardians lost control in “training their children in the way they should go?” or what is not happening. Surprisingly though, adolescents are the most informed in all matters pertaining to what is happening particularly sex since they are still in the process of discovering who they are. It is in this stage of life where most get the definition of their sexuality, build relationships, identify their goals, purpose and pursue after their dreams in earnest. Therefore, we cannot say that our young people are not acquainted on matters to do with HIV and AIDs. I can assure you for a fact they know these things as they learn and discover their body anatomy. As testimony to what am saying, I know of a friend’s 10 year old son who knows all about HIV from the way it is spread, how it is to be avoided and how to handle people that have been affected. These are some of the things they are taught in school here in Kenya under the subject of ‘Social Studies’.

As a teenager growing up somewhere in the Central Part of Kenya, I was so scared of getting HIV. This is because it had been taunted as a very deadly disease (of which it is) and there was so much stigma attached to it. Unlike nowadays where it is no longer seen as a ‘threat’ to be sero positive. Back then in the late nineties and early into the new millennia, it was such a bad thing for you to be known that you had HIV. No one wanted to shake your hand, share utensils with you, seat next to you or even be associated with you. People looked upon you with pity and sympathy as they kept record of the number of days you ought to live. But as time goes by, we have become too “familiar” with HIV and the danger it poses. I am not trying to say that we should treat people that are infected differently, but we have taken HIV to be too casual an illness. It is no longer a risk and no wonder there is an increase in new infections every now and then. We are more concerned about preventing other diseases such as cancer, diabetes and slowly by slowly we are neglecting HIV and hence the reason why we are going back in circles

You would expect by now that we should have fewer infections yearly as it was highlighted in last year’s theme, “Getting to Zero” but apparently that’s not the case. The questions we (you and I) should be asking are why is that so? Who is to blame? What can be done to preserve an HIV/AIDS free generation? One of the major reasons in my opinion why we are not achieving this goal is because of neglected responsibilities. Parents and guardians have neglected their duties of bringing up their children. How so? Parenting has been left to school teachers and nannies at home. Since the parents are too ‘busy’ chasing after ‘money’ and abdicated their obligation of guiding their progeny. Don’t get me wrong, money is important in a world where the economy keeps inflating and there are needs to be met. But what’s the point in having it all and presumably does not benefit the supposed kin. Parents should wear their parental shoes and inculcate proper values in their children at all times. They ought to create and find time to sit, talk and listen to what their young ones have to say or are going through. We all know being a teenager is a tough stage and the hormonal levels in our bodies at this time wreck havoc on us. And there is no better person who can understand a child than a parent. Besides being there for your children, parents ought also to be good models. In a world full of bad influences and examples, parents should set high discipline standards, put proper systems to ensure the well being of their kids and maintain integrity. Your children are a reflection of who you are. They will do as you do not as you say. So by all means, in my opinion those negative habits such as parents drinking themselves silly and come back home to disturb the peace of everyone should be avoided. Others like indiscipline cases should not be tolerated. I realized that children learn by observing through my friends’ kids and own siblings. So whatever you do, be sure they are watching. Seek to know what they are up to even the hard headed ones who are just rebellious for no reason. Keep telling them about the dangers of having unsafe sex and its consequences, engage other people if you must to bring the message home. It is the price you pay for being a parent.

Therefore, the person who bears the blame in fueling the new infections of HIV in my opinion is the parent. This is before pointing fingers at other sources of influence such as the media, technological advancements among others. There is an English saying that “Charity begins at home”. So before you place blame on the television, the internet or other people around you, look at yourself first. How have you brought up your son or daughter? Is it in the right way? As a parent you have influence over the way your child behaves, acts, thinks and even what he she becomes. Look around you, see the good children of someone that you admire, seek to know how they’ve managed to bring them up well and emulate such. This is a call to all guardians and parents to take charge, be the parent you are meant to be. In that way you will preserve an HIV/AIDs free generation.

Besides the parent, it is also a personal responsibility to live responsibly as an adolescent. The problem we have with most of our young people is that they “think they know it all”. Simply because they are smarter than their parents in operating sophisticated gadgets such as mobiles phones, ipads and other tools of communication, they end up misusing them. You may be a “digital generation” kind of a kid but still you need the “analogue generation”. They have been here long before you and they have seen it all. It is important to listen to what they have to say even if they are not your parents and take heed. They are looking after your own interest. Some of the things they tell you may not be ‘sweet’ to the ear but if you read in between the lines, they mean much more than just mere words.

Long before I got to know about my HIV positive status at the age of twenty two in 2006, my pastor who doubled up as my spiritual father used to tell me, “Charles, take care. Out there are dangerous diseases like HIV”. He continued, “My son, please exercise caution because you do not want to be a victim”. But due to my obdurate behavior, I never listened. After having tasted the fruit of anal gay sex (which was sweet, still is) no one could tell me what to do. And so when I had unprotected sex with three different men at different intervals, and the feeling was even sweeter, there was no stopping me.  

Many are the times I’ve wished to turn back the hands of time, but it is rather too late to do that. If only I listened, HIV would not have caught up with me. The major problem with most of us whether young or old, we “always think we are right”. We don’t want to listen to another person’s counsel and in the end we hurt ourselves with our actions.  If you are young and get to read this, I implore you to listen to your elders. It is not an easy affair having to live with HIV and on ARVs. Don’t be cheated that it’s just taking ARVs, there is more to that than it is said!

Finally, if you cannot listen and abstain from sex, at least get one partner and be faithful to each other. Get tested and make sure you are HIV free but do not be oblivious of other sexually transmitted diseases like HPV, Syphilis among others. If you must have sex with multiple partners, then do yourself a favor and have safe sex always. Despite the fact that it is not a guarantee that “it is very safe”, insist on using a condom always to avoid contracting HIV. Don’t forget your life, is your responsibility.

Charles Baraka

A New Crush; Superbly Matured. Since 1988…

Previously on C.D.R

“Are you sure?” The kind cab driver asks him maintaining a steady eye contact. If hospitality in Addis comes through pouring on yourself some ambo water, why lie, I’m game!

The groom is among a long list of crushes I had while growing up…

…there are times when it is appropriate, even preferable, to get an erection when someone's face is in close proximity to your penis. This was not one of those times.

…Sweet dude, let's give Cole the Eiffel Tower tonight!

*******

They say the best things in this life are either illegal, expensive or married to. That sums up Eli. Ever met a guy for the first time and just seen the husband potential in him without even thinking of his d*ck? Oops that was just off, let me rephrase…

I arrive at the gate of the establishment shortly after 6.30p.m on a Friday evening. I call the groom. He picks on the second ring and advises me to meet some gentleman waiting for me at the parking bay as soon as I have cleared with security. Light shade of brown sweater, 6’3; not so dark; the handsome you notice shortly and an athletic body minus a beer gut. 

 ‘Hey, I’m Eli.’ He says extending a steady handshake. ‘I’m Collins. It’s a pleasure.’  I respond matter of fact-ly with my usual artificial smile.  

‘Er. Collins, I hope you’ll be okay from here. I got to handle other things. You could wait at the church. He’ll be joining you shortly.’ He says as soon as we’ve stepped out of the car in front of vintage chapel. I quickly nod in approval absorbed in his sharp eyes. They are shimmering in reflection of the chapel’s colored lights. O’ Boy, even Jesus approves of this man!

-------

 ‘You won’t be coming for the evening party?’ He asks with a lot of concern. His hand is subconsciously still clutching onto mine.

‘Unfortunately not. I feel so tired already and being my birthday, I need to go spend some time on myself.’ I respond. He suddenly pulls me into a bear hug saying ‘Wow…Happy Birthday! You should have my number, I work in the CBD, we could do lunch sometime.’ He insists even as I’m busy telling him I’ll get it from the groom. The Cole modesty fails terribly!

I leave the wedding venue proud and grinning from ear to ear. The bar has been set for 25 - the age of kissing my twink years goodbye as I forge towards the cougar days. I’m just glad I still have a nice donk going. Oops, Focus Cole…

*******

Behind The Scenes

1. ♪♪ “Jingle balls Jingle balls, Jingle all the way….” Oops! I meant bells rather. The festive season beckons. (In a Norridge Accent) I always get a repertoire of vouchers at this time courtesy of winnings in our shopping malls. This season however, all I just want to do is be on a date in that 3D X rider thing place at the Junction provided it’s a weekday afternoon lest I make a fool of myself in front of other patrons at the mall who’ll be watching us from outside.  Still on jingling balls bells, I’ve been slightly indisposed in the past few days hence the hiatus. Fine. I’ve also been having some serious episode of writer’s block. Writing to some extent is like sex with a guy you particularly don’t feel bust still have to keep him around for the dry days; you just have to be in the right frame of mind to enjoy it. Holy sh*t! Did I just sound profound there? Really. It’s like watching Kanye banging Kim K on a moving motorbike in that Bound 2 explicit YouTube clip. One sure has to be in the rhythm. That music video though. Is it just me who feels it’s a pile of crap despite the promising opening vocals. We have three articles to go but C.D.R in its usual tradition and in the spirit of Christmas reserves the last article in this year’s writing season to any of you who just wants to entertain us. My E-Mail is colemutahi@gmail.com if you are game.

2. Colerians (formerly Tsrians) are a peculiar lot. Somewhere in this blog I admitted I’m no one’s cum bucket. I couldn’t hear the end of that word. So last time when we were talking about men from the north and I talked about a sexual position in threesomes called Eiffel Tower that I’d just learnt, the feedback I got! Yes. I’ve never been in an orgy and I’m told a threesome is the first step towards gang banging. What is most fascinating is that apparently it’s also a new style for most of you who are experienced in matters threesomes/orgies. Really guys? Don’t you do any research before trying out these things? Maybe it’s just me but I’m a firm believer in doing my homework lest I end up breaking someone’s stick or better yet fracture a neck, no?

3. Speaking of men from the North. I forgot to say that they are very influential when it comes to decision making. A submissive pretty boy may act all independent but we all know that a man’s presence in his life helps him make up his mind faster on things. The northern men were without doubt impressed with the article and there are quarters that now regard me as an honorary Northerner. I even think plans are at an advanced level to procure me a husband. I Know Right! I will just ask the men from the North one thing as we plan this noble national duty: who does one need to sleep with at the policy and foreign business licensing level? Let’s admit, your ID cards are not exactly appealing to the eye as your beautiful faces and maybe it’s a great idea for us to start a modern ID processing plant there, no? *Leaves the Discourse Room before heels and tampons are thrown at him*

4. The thought of getting me a new Tat to reward a recent achievement in my life was so rife until I ran into the picture below.  I Know Right! The magic Ben, my ink artiste would do with this piece of paper is well…magical.

******

I walk into the brightly lit cathedral and sit on the pew at the back to think about my life. I’m strangely unperturbed. Jeez, I’m not even that deep but what’s with churches and reminding us of our transgressions? I look around. The event planners are in an adrenaline rush doing last minute decorating. I look at my watch and conclude that the rehearsal will clearly not start on time hence I won’t get enough time to go get a large Hawaiian pizza to usher in my 25^th Anniversary at midnight. Finally the other members of the bridal party start streaming in and within no time the rehearsals commence. Eli, the object of my dreams (I’ve since known he’s the best man from the rest of the group) walks through the main door, joins us and accordingly supervises. Isn’t he hands on! Thorough even but still remains friendly while at it. It is such scenes that remind me I’ll never have a church wedding. So much pressure e.g. holding a girl right, you shouldn’t look down. Meh! After the session, while we are walking along the driveway to the parking, he excuses himself from our group at some point saying he has to take some belongings to his wife who’s holed up somewhere in the compound. The Fuck!

*******

I walk past the gate and return the boisterous greetings accorded to me by the guards who have carefully examined my ID. The establishment is beautiful and lush. I text the groom telling him that I’ve arrived and then take a seat at the reception area. I reach for my phone to pick a call. Got to love birthday anniversaries, everyone just seems to remember you very early in the morning. While I’m still on phone, a tall tower of water in green sweat pants and a jacket is walking towards me. The still rising sun’s rays illuminate his face giving it a radiant feel. It’s the married crush from last evening! I disconnect the call. ‘Morning…Collins right?’ He says extending a handshake. Oh Boy he remembered my name. He advises me to accompany him as the rest of the groomsmen are already inside preparing. We walk into a huge building. Once in, we pace across a well lit hallway with various wall hangings. My eyes wane into an elaborate piece of art where a man who’s mouth has formed a neat ‘O’ with his hands behind his head is knelt down. I don’t think he was praying as Eli led me to believe. I walk into the room where the other gentlemen are busy tying their ties looking all sharp and handsome. Meeaow! Got to love a man in suit any day.

I’m taken to a laundry room by the beaming groom (who’s yet to dress up) where my Bagazello suit dangles in a closet. I look at the Daniel Hechter shirt and the ironing board and decide that it clearly needs some smooth down. The groom steps out holding a mug of freshly brewed coffee to attend to his many phone calls. While I’m still ironing the collars of my shirt, a tall, half naked man only in his checked blue cotton boxers ‘accidentally’ walks into the laundry room. He’s hairy around his broad chest. The hairs are aligned neatly down the length of his sternum. He’s not really muscular but has a very supple brown skin. Uuuuuh Child! Seeing this man is only comparable to that brief Chris Hemsworth bare chest scene on Thor 2. It gets worse because in 3D you are tempted to reach for his man tits and squeeze them because they are just in front of you. This chic who was seated next to me at IMAX during the viewing suddenly started choking; thankfully she never went down on her knees. We all love the build of these men but someone once told me that it’s better not to let your imagination wander so much below their waistlines as you may be disappointed. I don’t know how true that is. By the way, are there porn flicks shot on 3D? A friend of a friend requested me to ask you guys on his behalf.

“Say what now?” I ask him smiling and ensuring my eyes don’t disappoint me by going south of his groin. He asks me to notify him as soon as I’m done as he also needs to iron his shirt. I immediately offer to do it on his behalf. He is reluctant but I insist. Ladies, Gentlemen. I haven’t ironed anything for the past one year or so but how I managed to ensure the shirts’ sleeves could dissect a fly is still beyond me. He comes back after ten minutes with everything on minus his shirt. I notice some numerical ink on his man breast which upon my asking as he inches closer to collect his shirt tells me that they birthday dates for his two children. Aww! But the torture a zega man goes through in such settings! Now I can relate to what the likes of Jason Collins used to go through in those locker rooms!

To cut the long story short, by the end of this day, I almost choked on rich fruit cake thanks to the groom being so generous as it was my day (wished it was someone something else next to him choking me); I intentionally breached the social distance by standing in front of him to adjust his cravat (which by the way had no issue) and I have since been asked to go for coffee when free. I’m still thinking about it three weeks later. Do married visibly straight heterosexual men ask anyone out for coffee? Okay why the heck do I always fall for married men anyway? Aaargh!

I have since learnt Eli is a passive laid-back rugby enthusiast. I honestly have never been to the Kenya sevens (sic) or even followed rugby (union or league) generally. You know, all that scrum, crouch, bind and set sh*t; Props who are the biggest (we are referring to their large body frame here just in case your mind got nomadic) players on the team; the hooker (no pun intended) who’s supported by the props; knock – ons etc. What? Oh. Can’t a pretty boy know his sports! Turning 25 should sure get me involved into more charitable ventures e.g. volunteering at the sevens as a ‘fitness attendant’ without expecting any stipends. That I’ve been having aspirations of rubbing massaging a strong well–built thigh, sweaty sturdy biceps complete with outline of veins and calves to relieve the pain (after a tough game) is not in doubt. Clearly I’ve lost the plot in this story…

To be continued…

*******

“Too many young folk have addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love.” - Cornel West

Since I have failed in dating a tall Jason – Winston – George looking brother who runs a bar in Westlands and prefers keeping clothes to the minimum while  in his studio apartment, some of the things I’m told are supposed to be in my to do list at 25 so as to remain socially relevant are namely:

• Kiss someone I think is out of my league; kiss models (Wilson – he of the Versman Commercial–Hello!), med students and entrepreneurs with part-time lives in Dubai (Also known as Dubai Sevens) and don’t worry about if they’re going to call you afterward. 
• Try not to beat yourself up over having obtained a ‘useless’ Bachelor’s Degree. Debt is hell, and things don’t pan out quite like expected at times, but you did get to go to college, and having a degree isn’t the worst thing in the world to have – well I’m going to collect mine next week!
• Start a relationship with your crush by telling them that you want them. Directly. Like, look them in the face and say it to them. Say, I want you. I want to be with you. – This isn’t happening, No.
•  Learn to have sex with the lights on. – Er…this is something I must confess is still a work in progress. That’s why my bedroom is dimly lit in the guise of a colored bulb. Do you have sex under 100 watts of bulb light? Don’t ask me about daytime. There is just something about sex and night time but they say if you are brave and bold enough he’ll find you sexier. Hmm...
•  Date someone who says, “I love you” first. – I love it!
• Leave the country under the premise of “finding yourself.” This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Instead, do a lot of solo drinking, read a lot of books, have sex in dirty hostels, and come home when you start to miss it. – I’m actually looking at my diary. I think I should do the South (through the North though) but there is no way I’ll ever sleep in a dirty hostel
• Donate Blood. – Okay, this one I must do. Does going for a HIV test count? 
• Learn how to use a corkscrew (The pun in this word) even though I am a teetotaler. – Now that I’ve learnt what Rosé is courtesy of a friend, I need to delve more into differentiating between dry chardonnay and a sweeter pinot 

Next Week on C.D.R

… I’ll have to disagree with you there. The code is clear. As a bottom, I never look at my role as a source of victimhood; sometimes you only need some human warmth to get you through the cold night, that’s where a man comes in.

…But due to my obdurate behavior, I never listened. After having tasted the fruit of anal gay sex (which was sweet, still is)  no one could tell me what to do. And so when I had unprotected sex with three different men at different intervals, and the feeling was even sweeter, there was no stopping me.  

It will be World AIDS Day so let me just say he’s tall, dark, and handsome; boasts of a readership base of almost 80K due to his prolific writing and happens to be one of my mentors in this blogging business, living positively and has never looked back…

Cole