The NBO-Kenya vs. Addis Zega (Gay) Scene.

By Victor Geta

Prologue

Cole: Really been tempted to share these pictures we took thanks to the adorable Kamal. Maybe I should give him a kiss next time (smiles) Gosh, I'm such a camera whore too but why aren’t you showing your face in this room? Bitch, aren’t you fly!

Geta: I knoooow. Kamal is definitely gifted. Hey, you do realize I don't want to go to prison here in Addis. Unlike your prisons, they don't rape you. Where is the fun in that?

Cole: (Giggling uncontrollably) No comments. How far have you gone with that Habesha husband issue I proposed you look at?

Geta: Cole baby, I told you he’s taken, don’t push it.

Cole: Since when did that become a problem?It's not a big deal to seek for a sperm donor you know...besides since you got back there I have 5 new friends from Addis on my Timeline (sighs)

Geta: Hmm...maybe we can arrange for the sperm donor bit BUT as the resident bitches here, we are fighting for the small amount of 'men' available...we don't need neighboring countries taking our men....BACK OFF!

Cole: Nkt, you better start your thing. It’s Friday and some of us don’t have the whole day…I’ll save this talk for Addis.

  

Recently I was invited to visit the great and beautiful city of NBO. I was so impressed with its lush, green view and tidiness especially the suburbs. I devoured all kinds of yummy cuisine that normally you wouldn't find back here in Addis including crocodile and ostrich meat at Simba Salon. 
I equally loved how Kenyans particularly Nairobi guys take their coffee or tea: in big cups or should I say bowls? 
 
I wonder if they like 'everything' else big...                          

Ed’s Note: It’s called getting value for our paper, alien!

Anyway, we did go to the park and into the wild (Oh and there was this couple making out in some lonely part of the park in a prado we interrupted, I still hope they were men!) and also got wild at night. Got to see all those look-alike goat thingies (still can’t decipher which one is which) and also some giraffes which somehow have something in common with me: Fine and too high to reach ass. 

Last but not least I got to meet this really nice Kenyan guy with a great smile and smart mind. I also got to taste Ugali. (One of the most common Kenyan traditional foods) It was not that bad but I definitely wouldn't eat it every day. 

What amazed me were the big a**es everyone seems to have (What! I’m still a gay man). All you Kenyan bitches could be skinny but you are blessed with this fine a**, Damn! I loved it. Maybe it’s the Ugali. In Addis you get skinnies (lots of them), chubbies, fats, muscular, athletics…one in a million. Maybe it’s our Injera.  

But what I was looking for so eagerly was to visit one of those zega night clubs where I could just declare my ‘zeganess’ and feel free. Me and my so generous and good pal got sexified and went to the club right about mid night. Gypsies is fine but what I expected was one of those pinky-kinky night clubs with a hyped illumination system and some pathetic excuse of sophistication. Well, for some reason Nairobians like the outdoors. The crowd was fine, so many cute guys, but with so many similarities (like that feminine flag that we all seem to have). What I couldn't take was all that house music. What’s up with all that? All Kenyans were doing was jump and jump. That’s not called dancing, it’s just jumping. I tried to show them how we bitches do it in Addis but got somehow uncomfortable because every man in there was looking at me in some kind of petrified look that says 'Bitch, cut it out, you are making us too horny'. 

  

Let’s just say it was not that liberating as I’d initially thought. Even though I was given all these tips on how to pick a guy, flirt with him and how to attract the Kenyan alpha male by Cole, the only time I was asked to stand up and turn around was by the Kenyan police. (And not in a good way)

The fact of the matter is that there is no real difference between the gay scene in Addis and NBO. We may not have a gay club but we do have clubs we often patronize. You guys don't dance body to body even though you have a zega-friendly club (Just to be clear, the zega club I was looking forward to see was an all zega club. This one just had a partition.)

We zegas in Addis may be too blind to see that we are somehow free. We go out, we have fun, we flirt, we dance (in a so not provocative way) and yet it’s in the enemy’s (those straight folks) club. Believe me; you don't want to see us dance. 

 

One true difference I could find was that you got the body and we got the moves. Suck on that!

 

Till next time, as we say it in Addis: CHER YIGITEMEN!

Regards,

Victor Geta

 

Victor Geta is a 25-year old Addis-based zega (read as gay) guy working for gain in Ethiopia and beyond as he gets to travel in various cities across the world. He recently toured Kenya for the first time and had a lot of admiration not only for its people but also places. He also got to interact with TSR’S Cole Mutahi courtesy of a mutual friend they share.