My
gratitude goes to you my reader for making me relevant since I opened T.S.R.
While still inhaling the same air of gratitude, I have to meet my side of the
bargain and do the long awaited Q&A article meant to demystify me. I must
put it on record that I had to divide it into three sections: General, Personal
and Bedroom oriented segment which I
had to append a PG Rating on (Kindly make sure you are 21 or older, I don’t
want to be accused of eroding minds of these young zega boys) This being the
End of month I will do a double treat and even serve you the usual music.
Robyn
1. I recently visited a straight pal (who
has become good pals with my beau in recent times) for a sleep over, when we were
in bed, he started touching me. I assumed but some minutes later I felt his
stiff rod touching me. I didn’t want to ‘sin’ b’coz I have a Bf, so I moved
from bed to the couch. In the morning we couldn’t even talk. We were both shy.
Was my move right? Would I have just fu*ked with him and got it over with?
Cole: Let me get this
right: Straight what? Hello, dick alert! dick alert!
I commend your boss mentality and taking charge of the situation (Most of us
would have gladly received it). It was a great move and if he’s allegedly
straight, maybe he was just undergoing one of those dry spells. These things
used to happen in school you know. You earned that guy’s respect and it will
hang on for a while.
2. I have been dating this guy for almost 2
years now but in October last year, I discovered he was cheating. I have
declined sleeping with him since then. We are still tight despite that. I doubt
whether he sleeps with other boys…I even know his HIV status since we went
to the VCT together but I’m still not ready to do it even if protected. He
loves and respects that. I’m worried I’m pushing him to look for other hotties,
Am I?
Cole: Pretty, I’ll be
very honest with you. Your jerk boyfriend
is like a bottle of sour milk in the fridge. You don't keep going back and
tasting the milk to see if it's better; why do you think that if you give him
enough chances, he'll magically become a nice guy? Get Blu Cantrell’s Hit ‘em
up style Asap. Falling off a bike is an accident but falling into man pussy?
Avoid doing what pretty boys do al the time: Making excuses for a man.
3. Anonymous: My Bf hasn’t
been so available of late. He says he’s busy, doesn't text me anymore or returns my call a day later etc. What do you think I should
do?
Cole: I’ll be very
direct with you on this. Dump him before he does it! The moment a man changes his
behavior or routine, it is better to accept that you are past your sell by
date. He’s being distracted by someone new. Are you forgetting that men always
create time for the things they like?
4. Tomy: What advice do
you have for guys who no longer seem to just have the passion?
Cole: Just like the
previous guy I’ll tell you something you may be familiar with: Put them in a
spot where they have no place to go and they will die before fleeing.
Personal
Questions.
Raul
5. Who is Cole Mutahi and what inspires
him?
Cole: Superbly Matured. Since 1986.Young, fresh, urbanite and with a penchant for saying it as it is, CM is a legal mind and ICT enthusiast. He is also a good purveyor of minds having had a stint in psychology. He writes on gay men, well being and mental wellness. He is a life coach, motivation speaker and aspiring psychoanalyst. Succinctly put, he’s a little bit of everything all rolled into one. On inspiration, let me just say People do motivate me.
Cole: Superbly Matured. Since 1986.Young, fresh, urbanite and with a penchant for saying it as it is, CM is a legal mind and ICT enthusiast. He is also a good purveyor of minds having had a stint in psychology. He writes on gay men, well being and mental wellness. He is a life coach, motivation speaker and aspiring psychoanalyst. Succinctly put, he’s a little bit of everything all rolled into one. On inspiration, let me just say People do motivate me.
6. Relationships especially gay ones are
for losers: People who have reached the irreplaceable maximum. For them, its
either I go with this fellow or am doomed. That has always been our view (you
and I so to speak). Do you believe in Gay relationships? If yes, what
constitutes a solid R/ship? If not, what is the best way to live a gay life?
Cole: Wow. Wait I
know I’m such an opinionated bitch but since when did I maintain such a
barbaric view? Contrary to popular opinion, I do believe in that emotionally
co-dependent shitstorm you call relationship. To make it work, put all your
weight behind it and keep people off your sh*t. Never be the one who easily walks away unless it's really justifiable,also remember when
someone treats you like an option, help them narrow their choices by removing
yourself from the equation. It’s that simple.
7. When do you get married? To a man or woman? Are you planning to have kids in the future? How many and why?
7. When do you get married? To a man or woman? Are you planning to have kids in the future? How many and why?
Cole: I haven’t given
it a thought really. Who gets married nowadays? Maybe I’ll consider a union of
convenience with a likeminded lady (I’m in a country where it is still taboo to rule
out womenfolk entirely) Kids? At the moment, I just don’t like those little
devils being all over my business. Luckily enough I’m an only child who’s
orphaned. The usual family pressure many gay men experience won’t be much.
8. What do you intend to achieve in the
next 2 years especially as a columnist with Identity magazine and a blogger. Do
you mix your social life with your full time career?
Cole: Identity has
been reinventing under the capable leadership of Denis. I can’t close my eyes
to the fact that without ID, T.S.R may have not picked up that much. Once the
monthly issues resume, I hope to make it big, maybe become a resident debutante
in matters zega? T.S.R is still a past time activity for me. Who knows, maybe
it may be the next Huffingpost in Africa? My
social life and my career which you are privy to how sensitive it is are totally
different. I’m the one person who’s been on record in the office saying being
my colleague doesn’t necessarily make you my friend. I try as much as I can to
divorce the two.
Tina
9. What do you do for work? I know you have
told me in the past the nature of your job is...blah blah.
Cole: I'm a fulltime legal assistant but currently I'm into administration.I also have side hustles: Having majored in ICT I am a consultant with strengths on Internet security. It is what I do on my free time. I also moonlight a lot for Aphiaplus (NAIROBI-COAST) mostly during my weekends courtesy of a meaningful contact.I definitely live beyond my means but I still survive.
10. Do you see yourself ever settling
down with a man? The suburbia sort of life?
Cole: Maybe. I don’t
know. It’s a cruel world out here. So
long as rings aren’t involved, I’d definitely love to wake up next to a man I
adore every morning. Oh my gay…what did I just say? At the moment I’d just say I’d rather hear my dog
bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me!
11. Are u Gay, Bi etc?
Cole: I’m very gay as
they come girl. My loyalties only lie with the guys. Ladies I treasure them as
they are!
12. Do you intend to ever come out, to everyone? If not, why?
12. Do you intend to ever come out, to everyone? If not, why?
I’m at a pretty comfortable place at the
moment. Kind of complacent you know. If the truth will hurt the powers that be,
then they are better off with a warranted lie.
13. Are u into make up?
No. I’m pretty natural though I treasure
good grooming. Wait, why did you ask that? Girl if you want to gift me I’ll be
more than thankful.
14. What’s your level of education?
Cole: I’m Undergrad
with a few professional qualifications here and there. The problem is that I
use none of those in my current Job description. I hope to pursue my MSc. once
I’m ready and I have the requisite gear. Good luck in your papers and my warm regards to your beau.
Lekishon
15. Is Cole Mutahi your name?
Cole: For purposes of
this article, Yes.
16. Is Cole as complicated as his
posts?
Cole: I’m naturally shy
and don’t talk much. You have to divorce that bitch on TSR and the real thing!
17. Yeah right. Is Cole a geek who
wears glasses?
Cole: Yeah, I do
have those geek spectacles you see in my animated picture in addition to 2
other pairs of glasses. All have the same prescription. Remind me to carry them
the day you will be interviewing me on your blog.
18. Does Cole call his friends
girlfriend?
Cole: For guys I will
always say guy friend but for the ladies, what’s wrong with that?
19. Victor: What’s the biggest
drama that you caused in a public place?
Cole: Not much
really. Just some bad day I went out for lunch and the lady waiter ignored me
for a long time and was serving people who had come after me. I was so irritated. I motioned
her to come over but she instead started seeking instructions from the other
table. I raised my voice and told her not to make me buy that place just to fire her. Everyone within the perimeter stared at me perplexed. I was finally served
with her supervisor. But since I dated a guy who told me he had been a waiter in
another life and explained to me their challenges, I stopped such drama at restaurants.
20. Kamal: What's the
meaning of the two paws tattoo on your left wrist?
Cole: Oh, the babies? I consider myself
a work in progress. I take steps in life to get to what and where
I want. In life, you always have to be on the move.
21. J.Warui: I have visited
TSR. Where do you get all these stories?
Cole: As I said
earlier, people inspire me. Every guy I meet or interact with in the zega scene is a
potential story in TSR.
22. Luke: What are some of
the cherished moments/things a guy did for you?
Cole: Aww, I can
write a book on this. Let me just note the few: Was meeting this guy for lunch
in some public restaurant in the city center, he pulled a seat for me. Who does
that! Then there is when the trophy boyfriend seriously offered to hold my hand as we
crossed the road (chuckle); remember that guy who was significantly younger than me? (He still thinks I'm a year his junior)He once tucked me in bed to sleep before he left and we never even had anything!I never felt so valued and warm in my own abode (Wiping a tear with the tail end of Sasha's borrowed Brazilian weave lest I spoil the mascara); late last month there is the guy who kept making fun of me b'coz the security guys at Club Bettyz (which is too stuffy anyway) maintained I was underage even after I'd shown them my ID. He made it up to me forthwith and the next time I was in an upmarket den of sin. God knows what my pastor would do if he found me here! and the recent one is a guy getting me a painting
slightly over $180. I have never even thought of getting myself any painting.
He ought to have given me that money (laughs). Then I can't forget Sam who got me the man
purse and branded socks from his visit abroad and I never needed to pay for it in kind
etc.
23. Trevor: Why do you play
hard to get?
Cole: Honey, I am hard
to get.
24. Trevor: I still maintain
you are difficult to please.
Cole: I’m not difficult
to please; I’m just not easily impressed.
25. Kelvin: What do you look
for in a guy?
Cole: Hmm…you
just couldn’t help it.
Of course the tall, dark and handsome qualities are constant. Wait, that
dark
part doesn’t apply entirely. My crush is of Arab descent and I just don't date
brief people though I hear that the shorter the monkey, the longer the
tail. He’s also got to be really
confident, intelligent, funny, a gentleman, sensitive, sweet and above all a friend, oh and no riff-raff. So far I’m privileged not to have
trained
a boyfriend.
26. Kelvin: So, are you
single? Be honest.
Cole: I’m veeeeeeeeeery
single but not entirely available.
27. Ali: Three things
most people don’t know about you?
Cole: Oh, I don’t drink beer or
spirits. Maybe half a glass of wine while in social trysts. I’m a fan of the violin and starting
Violin classes soon and lastly I’m not an uptown kid.
28. Hector: What makes you
relevant and consistent Cole? And what makes you have a balanced view on the
scene?
Cole: Wow, love your name Hector. It
has royal connotations just so you know. I do
not have a gym membership, a husband, or any magazine subscription. I've never
been to those high end clothes shops. I refuse to talk on the phone and drive.
I see my texts three or four hours later. Last time I checked, I'm one of the happiest pretty boys I
know. On the balanced view of the scene: When you grow up, people take everything from you. Your
time, your life, your freedom, your boyfriend/ husband…need I say more?
Bedroom Questions
29.Isaac: Cole, you talked
about relationships. Would you have an affair if you were in one?
Cole: Me, Have an
affair? Like I really want to fake an orgasm for two men?
30.Andrew: What arouses
Cole?
Cole: Remember when I told you that a
pretty boy always knows in the first 5 seconds the guy he’ll sleep with? Well a great physique combined with a great kiss brings it up!
31.Patrick: Have you ever
showered with your boyfriend?
Cole: I’m offended.
Is that even a question? The Showering bit is an extension of the whole love making process and as you rightly asked,it is only limited to a boyfriend not a one night stand! While still on this, a guy showering with his beau is epic. That’s
the point you cuddle some more, the dominant partner gets to ensure that he
didn’t hurt his ‘baby’ during the session and if he did, he gets to help him sort it out.
Geta
32. Have u ever swallowed?
Cole: OMG Hell No!
I don’t subscribe to that primeval notion that when you swallow a man’s cream
he will treasure you for eternity.
33. Have you ever accepted cash after sleeping with a guy?
33. Have you ever accepted cash after sleeping with a guy?
Cole: Apparently
No. I just don't suck d!ck for success, Never have. I sleep with a guy
to release the tension within. I’m a very independent
individual konjo, self-made and done.
34. Your embarrassing bedroom story?
Cole: He was a
married man. It was very late when he showed up at my doorstep and it was
raining so I kind of felt for him. He was so drunk too. We never went all the
way and he never came anyway. Well, to make
a long story short and to get right down to the nitty gritty of it...the man
had no pecker. I've held bigger Bic lighters in my hand. Alcohol really curtails action!
35. Raul: We have seen what
people say about you, you are an amazing writer and very social guy. You have
content buddy.
Cole: Oh Oh…just
spill the question
36. Raul: Excuse my
manners. This isn’t really a question. I have had several people ask me and I
get mad but I am going to ask you anyway. Are you top or bottom? How many men
have slept in your bed or rather how many men have you had sex with?
Cole: Huh…the age
old T/B question? I only answer that question to people I’m brokering a
sleeping deal with. Ask me in camera i. On the number of men. I have categories: The
total I’ve met, the number I’ve slept with and the ones I’ve
reeeeeally slept with (Penetrative sex was involved). In total I’ve met and interacted with at least 81 men since I really started meeting guys. Out
of this number I’ve slept with (just romance or cuddly related activities) 17 and the ones we reeeeeally went all the way
are 7. Gosh, you really gave me some
difficult math here but I’m pretty accurate. No more questions from you, you
are over asking!
37. Frank: Have you slept
with Denis Nzioka? If not, have you considered it?
Cole: Wow, that’s
pretty heavy. Denis is technically my boss at Identity. You don’t mix business
with pleasure you know besides it’s not like I’m climbing any corporate ladder.
Now would I consider it? I highly doubt it. Denis is the kind of guy you only sleep
with illegitimately (chips funga) then you hope your bf finds out the following
day just to prove a point to him!
Charles M
38. I’m an avid reader of your blog,
congratulations for the success of T.S.R. Here are some of my questions. I hope am not the naughtiest (chuckle);
what’s your favorite sex position?
Cole: Almost everything
but then it’s all about creativity when it comes to the bedroom. Just one thing
I can’t sit on it!
39. Do you moan in the act, are you
loud?
Cole: Oh Shit. Piss.
Hell, next question!
40. Who is your crush of all time?
40. Who is your crush of all time?
Cole: Remember that
Arab/Caucasian golfer I talked about on the second or third article on TSR? He
has an attitude that is smarmy in other men and he may just be joining us for
our usual road trip this August. Maybe he has finally seen the light.
41. What would you do if you found me naked in your bed?
41. What would you do if you found me naked in your bed?
Cole: How would you
even end up in my bed? Any-gay, I would cover you up ASAP and advice you to
dress up. Charles, I don’t sleep with friends who I share all my sexual and man affairs with! (giggles)
42. Fazio: I know you’ve
talked about your first sexual experiences. Anything notable thing about the
first time you haven’t told us? What are your views on protection?
Cole: Hmm…you
are
very good! Let me just say the things that guy could do with his tongue
should
be declared illegal! On protection, I always say you must rubber it!
Even if you are in a stable r/ship. I always have my CD's. If the guy
doesn't it's better to postpone the act. If you are uncomfortable buying
them just pick those ones in Airport or mall washrooms, they are free
and can work. Barebacking is NOT my thing.
That marks the end of our Q&A
segment. I haven’t tackled 7 questions. Let me reserve them for an interview I
am giving soon on a fellow blogger’s space. That Bitch has been asking very
tough questions! Let's do this again sometime. It was really fun and mind boggling too.
T.S.R also takes a short-lived sabbatical. When we get back, we’ll be bigger, bolder and more sophisticated.
From teaching Zegas how to dress -from some fine resident fashion slave- to other
fresh guests who have various situations for us. I’m glad we are hitting
the 7K mark by the end of this week. Have a fruitful week/ white rabbit babies, I
will!
Regards,
Cole Mutahi.