I'm NOT a virgin.

By Cole Mutahi

‘Have I slept with you?’ That’s a question I’ve asked many guys I meet in the scene who tend to exhibit some familiarity. A strange man has been calling me of late.

 I don’t know him  but what I know is that he’s been in a chapter on my past since he asked me whether I’m still at my last address.

He says he has missed me. He has a pretty great voice and tends to act ‘in charge.’ Remember  I’ve told you before, I  always remember all my men even the one night stand ones. This one, I’m zilch!

It’s a tough society we live in. All men you meet in your life as a zega guy have some valuable lesson for you to learn. I have come to appreciate that from a virgin mind.Through that finger snapping they do;  that you are dressed like a pastor body check;  that you can’t satisfy my libido by only two rounds, look you’re still around, aren’t you?

Back to my virginity story I was sharing with you in last Friday’s segment. Apparently one of you reviewed it as soft porn. That isn’t a bad thing, right? His hands were dexterously removing bits of my clothes. I had to make a decision. Men are so fickle you know but he was a classy dude. He loved me. He was a serious person. My serious person. I opened my eyes and saw the white gleam of a condom in his hand. ‘Don’t be afraid baby’ he whispered. ‘I love you.’ He kissed me and I was no longer afraid. Then he was suddenly in a rush. Love making is so wonderful, why do men seem to want to get it over with? Maybe it’s different for men. I thought to myself. That strange and indescribable pleasure, interlaced with the pain. There was frenzy thereafter, shirts hurriedly buttoned, belts buckled...I was young and this was just the beginning of an intriguing future.

Fast forward: He is suave, charming and has beautiful manners with some bit of  careless self confidence. After dining and wining, he suggested we get latex and go have a sinful moment. I didn’t come around to it since it would feel like I was paying for the date by having a shag. We went dutch so that’s instant immunity right? The poor thing still had his erection by the end of the night. Blue balls, Hello!

Now that’s the false excuse. The honest excuse is that I don’t want to sleep with him since I’m sure he’ll disappear soonest. Pretty boys always know who they want to keep around.  I’m already being addressed as ‘Hun’ and I’m told to ask for anything I want. Same shit. Different boy. Then there is that situation where  a lot of attractive eligible men keep asking you for dates and you don’t like having to turn them down. So you end up feeling guilty because he’s somewhere in the back of my mind. Look,  If a man takes you to dinner and starts to kiss you afterward in his car or some deserted area, it’s understood you would go somewhere to consumate it. This is some sort of a default setting in the zega scene.

Virgin means clean,fertile, untouched, naive and a catch in some circles. What a ghastly list of qualities! I’m NOT a virgin. I am a gay man. A hopeless combination of horny and guilty.

Have a great weekend ducklings and Birthday wishes to Bugz Maingi, an avid T.S.R visitor and participant!!