VETTING COLE: THE FIRST EXCLUSIVE Q&A ARTICLE (EXPLICIT CONTENT)

By Cole Mutahi

My gratitude goes to you my reader for making me relevant since I opened T.S.R. While still inhaling the same air of gratitude, I have to meet my side of the bargain and do the long awaited Q&A article meant to demystify me. I must put it on record that I had to divide it into three sections: General, Personal and Bedroom oriented segment which I had to append a PG Rating on (Kindly make sure you are 21 or older, I don’t want to be accused of eroding minds of these young zega boys) This being the End of month I will do a double treat and even serve you the usual music.  

General Questions

Robyn

1. I recently visited a straight pal (who has become good pals with my beau in recent times) for a sleep over, when we were in bed, he started touching me. I assumed but some minutes later I felt his stiff rod touching me. I didn’t want to ‘sin’ b’coz I have a Bf, so I moved from bed to the couch. In the morning we couldn’t even talk. We were both shy. Was my move right? Would I have just fu*ked with him and got it over with?

Cole: Let me get this right: Straight what? Hello, dick alert! dick alert! I commend your boss mentality and taking charge of the situation (Most of us would have gladly received it). It was a great move and if he’s allegedly straight, maybe he was just undergoing one of those dry spells. These things used to happen in school you know. You earned that guy’s respect and it will hang on for a while.

2. I have been dating this guy for almost 2 years now but in October last year, I discovered he was cheating. I have declined sleeping with him since then. We are still tight despite that. I doubt whether he sleeps with other boys…I even know his HIV status since we went to the VCT together but I’m still not ready to do it even if protected. He loves and respects that. I’m worried I’m pushing him to look for other hotties, Am I?

Cole: Pretty, I’ll be very honest with you. Your jerk boyfriend is like a bottle of sour milk in the fridge. You don't keep going back and tasting the milk to see if it's better; why do you think that if you give him enough chances, he'll magically become a nice guy? Get Blu Cantrell’s Hit ‘em up style Asap. Falling off a bike is an accident but falling into man pussy? Avoid doing what pretty boys do al the time: Making excuses for a man.

3. Anonymous: My Bf hasn’t been so available of late. He says he’s busy, doesn't text me anymore or returns my call a day later etc. What do you think I should do?

Cole: I’ll be very direct with you on this. Dump him before he does it! The moment a man changes his behavior or routine, it is better to accept that you are past your sell by date. He’s being distracted by someone new. Are you forgetting that men always create time for the things they like?

4. Tomy: What advice do you have for guys who no longer seem to just have the passion?

Cole: Just like the previous guy I’ll tell you something you may be familiar with: Put them in a spot where they have no place to go and they will die before fleeing.

Personal Questions.

Raul

5. Who is Cole Mutahi and what inspires him?
Cole: Superbly Matured. Since 1986.Young, fresh, urbanite and with a penchant for saying it as it is, CM is a legal mind and ICT enthusiast. He is also a good purveyor of minds having had a stint in psychology. He writes on gay men, well being and mental wellness. He is a life coach, motivation speaker and aspiring psychoanalyst. Succinctly put, he’s a little bit of everything all rolled into one. On inspiration, let me just say People do motivate me.

6. Relationships especially gay ones are for losers: People who have reached the irreplaceable maximum. For them, its either I go with this fellow or am doomed. That has always been our view (you and I so to speak). Do you believe in Gay relationships? If yes, what constitutes a solid R/ship? If not, what is the best way to live a gay life?

Cole: Wow. Wait I know I’m such an opinionated bitch but since when did I maintain such a barbaric view? Contrary to popular opinion, I do believe in that emotionally co-dependent shitstorm you call relationship. To make it work, put all your weight behind it and keep people off your sh*t. Never be the one who easily walks away unless it's really justifiable,also remember when someone treats you like an option, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation. It’s that simple.
7. When do you get married? To a man or woman? Are you planning to have kids in the future? How many and why?

Cole: I haven’t given it a thought really. Who gets married nowadays? Maybe I’ll consider a union of convenience with a likeminded lady (I’m in a country where it is still taboo to rule out womenfolk entirely) Kids? At the moment, I just don’t like those little devils being all over my business. Luckily enough I’m an only child who’s orphaned. The usual family pressure many gay men experience won’t be much.

8. What do you intend to achieve in the next 2 years especially as a columnist with Identity magazine and a blogger. Do you mix your social life with your full time career?

Cole: Identity has been reinventing under the capable leadership of Denis. I can’t close my eyes to the fact that without ID, T.S.R may have not picked up that much. Once the monthly issues resume, I hope to make it big, maybe become a resident debutante in matters zega? T.S.R is still a past time activity for me. Who knows, maybe it may be the next Huffingpost in Africa? My social life and my career which you are privy to how sensitive it is are totally different. I’m the one person who’s been on record in the office saying being my colleague doesn’t necessarily make you my friend. I try as much as I can to divorce the two.

Tina

9. What do you do for work? I know you have told me in the past the nature of your job is...blah blah.

Cole: I'm a fulltime legal assistant but currently I'm into administration.I also have side hustles: Having majored in ICT I am a consultant with strengths on Internet security. It is what I do on my free time. I also moonlight a lot for Aphiaplus (NAIROBI-COAST) mostly during my weekends courtesy of a meaningful contact.I definitely live beyond my means but I still survive.

10. Do you see yourself ever settling down with a man? The suburbia sort of life?

Cole: Maybe. I don’t know. It’s a cruel world out here.  So long as rings aren’t involved, I’d definitely love to wake up next to a man I adore every morning. Oh my gay…what did I just say? At the  moment I’d just say I’d rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me!

11. Are u Gay, Bi etc?

Cole: I’m very gay as they come girl. My loyalties only lie with the guys. Ladies I treasure them as they are!
12. Do you intend to ever come out, to everyone? If not, why?

I’m at a pretty comfortable place at the moment. Kind of complacent you know. If the truth will hurt the powers that be, then they are better off with a warranted lie.

13. Are u into make up?

No. I’m pretty natural though I treasure good grooming. Wait, why did you ask that? Girl if you want to gift me I’ll be more than thankful.

14. What’s your level of education?

Cole: I’m Undergrad with a few professional qualifications here and there. The problem is that I use none of those in my current Job description. I hope to pursue my MSc. once I’m ready and I have the requisite gear. Good luck in your papers and my warm regards to your beau.

Lekishon

15. Is Cole Mutahi your name?

Cole: For purposes of this article, Yes.

16. Is Cole as complicated as his posts?

Cole: I’m naturally shy and don’t talk much. You have to divorce that bitch on TSR and the real thing!

17. Yeah right. Is Cole a geek who wears glasses?

Cole: Yeah, I do have those geek spectacles you see in my animated picture in addition to 2 other pairs of glasses. All have the same prescription. Remind me to carry them the day you will be interviewing me on your blog.

18. Does Cole call his friends girlfriend?

Cole: For guys I will always say guy friend but for the ladies, what’s wrong with that?

19. Victor: What’s the biggest drama that you caused in a public place?

Cole: Not much really. Just some bad day I went out for lunch and the lady waiter ignored me for a long time and was serving people who had come after me. I was so irritated. I motioned her to come over but she instead started seeking instructions from the other table. I raised my voice and told her not to make me buy that place just to fire her. Everyone within the perimeter stared at me perplexed. I was finally served with her supervisor. But since I dated a guy who told me he had been a waiter in another life and explained to me their challenges, I stopped such drama at restaurants.

20. Kamal: What's the meaning of the two paws tattoo on your left wrist?

Cole: Oh, the babies? I consider myself a work in progress. I take steps in life to get to what and where I want. In life, you always have to be on the move.

21. J.Warui: I have visited TSR. Where do you get all these stories?

Cole: As I said earlier, people inspire me. Every guy I meet or interact with in the zega scene is a potential story in TSR.

22. Luke: What are some of the cherished moments/things a guy did for you?

Cole: Aww, I can write a book on this. Let me just note the few: Was meeting this guy for lunch in some public restaurant in the city center, he pulled a seat for me. Who does that! Then there is when the trophy boyfriend seriously offered to hold my hand as we crossed the road (chuckle); remember that guy who was significantly younger than me? (He still thinks I'm a year his junior)He once tucked me in bed to sleep before he left and we never even had anything!I never felt so valued and warm in my own abode (Wiping a tear with the tail end of Sasha's borrowed Brazilian weave lest I spoil the mascara); late last month there is the guy who kept making fun of me b'coz the security guys at Club Bettyz (which is too stuffy anyway) maintained I was underage even after I'd shown them my ID. He made it up to me forthwith and the next time I was in an upmarket den of sin. God knows what my pastor would do if he found me here! and the recent one is a guy getting me a painting slightly over $180. I have never even thought of getting myself any painting. He ought to have given me that money (laughs). Then I can't forget Sam who got me the man purse and branded socks from his visit abroad and I never needed to pay for it in kind etc.

23. Trevor: Why do you play hard to get?

Cole: Honey, I am hard to get.

24. Trevor: I still maintain you are difficult to please.

Cole: I’m not difficult to please; I’m just not easily impressed.

25. Kelvin: What do you look for in a guy?

Cole: Hmm…you just couldn’t help it. Of course the tall, dark and handsome qualities are constant. Wait, that dark part doesn’t apply entirely. My crush is of Arab descent and I just don't date brief people though I hear that the shorter the monkey, the longer the tail. He’s also got to be really confident, intelligent, funny, a gentleman, sensitive, sweet and above all a friend, oh and no riff-raff. So far I’m privileged not to have trained a boyfriend.

26. Kelvin: So, are you single? Be honest.

Cole: I’m veeeeeeeeeery single but not entirely available.

27. Ali: Three things most people don’t know about you?

Cole: Oh, I don’t drink beer or spirits. Maybe half a glass of wine while in social trysts. I’m a fan of the violin and starting Violin classes soon and lastly I’m not an uptown kid.

28. Hector: What makes you relevant and consistent Cole? And what makes you have a balanced view on the scene?

Cole: Wow, love your name Hector. It has royal connotations just so you know. I do not have a gym membership, a husband, or any magazine subscription. I've never been to those high end clothes shops. I refuse to talk on the phone and drive. I see my texts three or four hours later. Last time I checked, I'm one of the happiest pretty boys I know. On the balanced view of the scene: When you grow up, people take everything from you. Your time, your life, your freedom, your boyfriend/ husband…need I say more?

Bedroom Questions

29.Isaac: Cole, you talked about relationships. Would you have an affair if you were in one?

Cole: Me, Have an affair? Like I really want to fake an orgasm for two men?

30.Andrew: What arouses Cole?

Cole: Remember when I told you that a pretty boy always knows in the first 5 seconds the guy he’ll sleep with? Well a great physique combined with a great kiss brings it up!

31.Patrick: Have you ever showered with your boyfriend?

Cole: I’m offended. Is that even a question? The Showering bit is an extension of the whole love making process and as you rightly asked,it is only limited to a boyfriend not a one night stand! While still on this, a guy showering with his beau is epic. That’s the point you cuddle some more, the dominant partner gets to ensure that he didn’t hurt his ‘baby’ during the session and if he did, he gets to help him sort it out.

Geta

32. Have u ever swallowed?

Cole: OMG Hell No! I don’t subscribe to that primeval notion that when you swallow a man’s cream he will treasure you for eternity.
33. Have you ever accepted cash after sleeping with a guy?

Cole: Apparently No. I just don't suck d!ck for success, Never have. I sleep with a guy to release the tension within. I’m a very independent individual konjo, self-made and done.

34. Your embarrassing bedroom story?

Cole: He was a married man. It was very late when he showed up at my doorstep and it was raining so I kind of felt for him. He was so drunk too. We never went all the way and he never came anyway. Well, to make a long story short and to get right down to the nitty gritty of it...the man had no pecker. I've held bigger Bic lighters in my hand. Alcohol really curtails action!

35. Raul: We have seen what people say about you, you are an amazing writer and very social guy. You have content buddy.

Cole: Oh Oh…just spill the question

36. Raul: Excuse my manners. This isn’t really a question. I have had several people ask me and I get mad but I am going to ask you anyway. Are you top or bottom? How many men have slept in your bed or rather how many men have you had sex with?

Cole: Huh…the age old T/B question? I only answer that question to people I’m brokering a sleeping deal with. Ask me in camera i. On the number of men. I have categories: The total I’ve met, the number I’ve slept with and the ones I’ve reeeeeally slept with (Penetrative sex was involved). In total I’ve met and interacted with at least 81 men since I really started meeting guys. Out of this number I’ve slept with (just romance or cuddly related activities) 17 and the ones we reeeeeally went all the way are 7. Gosh, you really gave me some difficult math here but I’m pretty accurate. No more questions from you, you are over asking!

37. Frank: Have you slept with Denis Nzioka? If not, have you considered it?

Cole: Wow, that’s pretty heavy. Denis is technically my boss at Identity. You don’t mix business with pleasure you know besides it’s not like I’m climbing any corporate ladder. Now would I consider it? I highly doubt it. Denis is the kind of guy you only sleep with illegitimately (chips funga) then you hope your bf finds out the following day just to prove a point to him!

Charles M

38. I’m an avid reader of your blog, congratulations for the success of T.S.R. Here are some of my questions. I hope am not the naughtiest (chuckle); what’s your favorite sex position?

Cole: Almost everything but then it’s all about creativity when it comes to the bedroom. Just one thing I can’t sit on it!

39. Do you moan in the act, are you loud?

Cole: Oh Shit. Piss. Hell, next question!
40. Who is your crush of all time?

Cole: Remember that Arab/Caucasian golfer I talked about on the second or third article on TSR? He has an attitude that is smarmy in other men and he may just be joining us for our usual road trip this August. Maybe he has finally seen the light.
41. What would you do if you found me naked in your bed?

Cole: How would you even end up in my bed? Any-gay, I would cover you up ASAP and advice you to dress up. Charles, I don’t sleep with friends who I share all my sexual and man affairs with! (giggles)

42. Fazio: I know you’ve talked about your first sexual experiences. Anything notable thing about the first time you haven’t told us? What are your views on protection?

Cole: Hmm…you are very good! Let me just say the things that guy could do with his tongue should be declared illegal! On protection, I always say you must rubber it! Even if you are in a stable r/ship. I always have my CD's. If the guy doesn't it's better to postpone the act. If you are uncomfortable buying them just pick those ones in Airport or mall washrooms, they are free and can work. Barebacking is NOT my thing.

That marks the end of our Q&A segment. I haven’t tackled 7 questions. Let me reserve them for an interview I am giving soon on a fellow blogger’s space. That Bitch has been asking very tough questions! Let's do this again sometime. It was really fun and mind boggling too.

T.S.R also takes a short-lived sabbatical. When we get back, we’ll be bigger, bolder and more sophisticated. From teaching Zegas how to dress -from some fine resident fashion slave- to other fresh guests who have various situations for us. I’m glad we are hitting the 7K mark by the end of this week. Have a fruitful week/ white rabbit babies, I will!

Regards,

Cole Mutahi.