Pretty boys’ First Date Code

During this past Easter weekend I managed to spare some time for some bitches (They know themselves).The Trophy boyfriend was unusually busy but I’m sure he had a lot in his plate since there are no major strings but he was the major subject of this discussion. I was told inter alia that with my burgeoning status as a writer(add prefix gay)I ought to go through the whole dating process as prescribed in the pretty boys’ code (This Code will premier in this year’s April’s issue of Identity Magazine) so that I stop complaining about  random men in my literary works! Someone I know was once told that he should start dating high end pretty boys’. Remember that schoolmate of mine?(the one who I went to visit sometime in summer 2009 in Rongai and when we were getting readily cooked cereals for lunch at a stall in the nearby shopping center he ran into one of his estate crushes and before he even introduced me told him we were getting the green grams for his dog?That one.)He also made a comment while we were watching this series ‘Revenge’ that I have always had a bad taste in men since my High school days and he had evidence to back it all up! (I’m not telling since the bitch is very right)And here I was thinking I can spot a loser from a mile. I mean, what do you expect after going through a thorough Psychoanalysis class for a year? By the end of the rewarding afternoon other than unanimously agreeing that we will always be specific when meeting people online and not sharing everything with random guys until we meet them in person, we accordingly revised the dating clause in the code since most of you gay guys beat yourself that you messed up in the first date and then start wondering what impression you made on that great guy. You are sitting there wondering why he hasn’t called you for that second date which is very rare in queer circles.

Our ruling: It’s all in the Pretty boys’ First Date Code:

My attitude:
This is going to be a new thing for me, a new person and a new chance.
I am wonderful and special and if you are not the right one – the right one is on his way.
Dating is a test of compatibility. I am not emotionally invested in the outcome of this meeting.
I have met lots of new people in my life. My goal is to be friendly, thoughtful and warm and then go back   to the next thing on my schedule.                                                                                                                                                   I have NO control on what you will think or feel.

Actions I will take
I will leave at the appropriate time to get there on time recognizing there might be traffic
I have my cell phone, your cell phone number and the address/directions to the meet location
Before coming in to meet you, I will take deep breaths and SMILE
I will make eye contact and listen to what you are saying
I will leave in a designated amount of time…regardless of how much fun we are having
I will not take cell phone calls or check e-mails or text messages  whilst with you (The forthcoming pretty boys’ code article will expound on this)
I will not do anything left for my dressing table while we are having dinner( for divas kindly )
I will not cross my arms or look at others in the restaurant/book store/coffee shop
I have my dating bag: Reading matter, House keys, 2K emergency cash, breath mints and in the case of exceptional circumstances like a sex date: Lube, Condoms.
I have told someone where I am going and when I expect to return (In this age of blackmail who meets people just like that!)

Appearance:
I have chosen an outfit that flatters my good physical assets, a modern look, comfortable, a good color for me and is not sexually suggestive or business boring
Hair is clean and styled (no roots showing)
I Have NOT applied makeup
My Perfume is not overwhelming
Teeth are white/breath is fresh
Nails are short and NOT manicured.
I am not wearing new shoes
I will be conscious of my posture and how I behave next to you

Conversation
My goal is to be upbeat, welcoming, and enthusiastic.
I won’t monopolize the conversation
I will remain positive in my conversation – no whining, complaining, gossiping, arguing or criticizing people around you.
I will not discuss problems in my life – this is not the time or place.
I have reviewed your profile and know your name and other details from your profile and communications we have had.
My goal on this visit is to find out more about you and determine if I will be open to seeing you again.
I have prepared questions to ask and I have topics to talk about. I will frame them in a casual conversational tone of voice so as not to appear to be grilling you or filling out a questionnaire
Examples:                                                                                                                                                                                                      Tell me something most people would never guess about you.
How did you get interested in your farming, legal, banking e.t.c profession?
What were you like in high school or College?
I know what I will say if I need to fill a silence – current events or something that happened that day/ week that would be an interesting and relatively short story or something that you are very lucky to have in your life.
If you ask anything too personal – I’ll say, “I’d rather save this for when I know you better” and I’ll change the subject but I will answer it if it’s really okay.

Ending
I will offer to split the bill in the restaurants (hopefully, you will not accept lol!)
I will leave at an appropriate time for my visit and say: ‘This has been nice/great’. 

If I want to leave early, I will but I will do so graciously. “It was nice to meet you.”

In the case of a sex date my pretty boys’ still opine with the old order that you shall leave decently without bothering the host!