Vaya con Dios Amigo mio: Tribute to Stephane de’ Benito

Everything. Everyone. Everywhere. Ends. My ardent readers may take notice that this is the second article that I find myself in peculiar circumstances starting it lke this.

‘Your blog is going to be posted in a page with 400,000 readers... I thought I should let you know...’ He said to me late one evening. 

We were then trying to get some help for Abdul* - some Burundian who was a refugee at Kakuma having fled from home whose story was run by T.S.R. 

As Steph loved music, I will try to be as musical as I can. We can really use it:

I never discerned I would ever do an editorial like this on this side of the blogosphere. Just as I‘d mentioned earlier on our Facebook Page. After crying my eyes dry for at least 30 minutes. I still couldn't come to terms with the fact that we'd lost the author of 'Grim, Grey and Smokey' that ill-fated morning. I say ill- fated because that same morning as I was on a cycling rendezvous I came across some grisly accident that was an addition to the disturbing happenings this month of August has successfully availed to us. Stephane was not only a friend or a colleague (I used to have lots of that one psychoanalyst to another discourses with him) but also one of the biggest brains behind T.S.R.   

Addressing my mind to all these, He really tamed me a lot due to his wisdom. Indeed, successful articles herein have lots of his ingenious input. It's really a bitter truth...

Having suspended all our activities for this week in honor of a star, I’m obliged to share a few moments his existence benefited me with. After at least one and a half years of conversation basically on phone and social media, we met in March this year. I got to Westgate about 15 minutes late thanks to the usually aggravating Nairobi evening traffic but then it was a weekday.  

 Of course his gentleman weakness made him not only take off his stunners but also rise and meet me as I approached his table, talk about a man who was definitely well bred. He was having his usual Pilsner while appreciating some pictures on his iPad. Two and a half hours later, we had to crown the evening with leave to schedule a new one for purposes of introducing me to his beau formally. We never came round to it due to our visibly different but taxing work schedules but we definitely kept touch.

‘Cole, only 69 to go for you to hit the 6K mark! You must be doing something right’ he last tweeted to me before I took a short lived sabbatical over 3 weeks ago. He definitely commended effort when he saw it. From my days as an ‘on demand’ monthly columnist on Identity Magazine, a ‘start up’ blogger to a work in progress and now a confirmed monthly IM columnist with a spot to do what I do best. It’s pretty disheartening I won’t get to share with him this new development. Even prior to the aforesaid tweet he had told me I was treading dangerously by giving a personal interview to my  readers. 

‘There are differences between those who work to become someone/something and those who spend time combing light bulbs…that is my take on things Cole, always been.’ He once affirmed to me.

Back to the beginning sentiments on this article  ‘My god! I created a monster...comments from South America, Europe, Australia keep coming in, Good! I wanted exposure and that's what I’m getting. Your blog is all over the world right now....’ He was definitely excited when his efforts on getting respite for Abdul* seemed to work out. While I was personally feeling all teary and so humbled, he calmed me down and said,  ‘Darl, that's what true friendship means. I can assure you that's the only way I work. I wouldn't do it any other way, despite the slaps that I get in my face. Let's make a big deal in the media. Do you allow me to send your article to some magazines? I can translate in Spanish and French...’ Yes, this is the person I’m going to miss, really.

He inspired a lot of stuff you have read here on T.S.R. From ‘It could be any of us’ to ‘Men and their Ink.’ (The latter was written a week after we had talked about tats on a Saturday I was in office) You can feel Steph in these articles. He was planning to do an article that touched on his morning intrigues at the Gym. You just need to visit his timeline around that period and peruse his status updates. Okay, if you have a perverted mind like me, you are welcome. Just so you know, he used to hate it when I went all insufferable on him thanking him for really being part of making all my great milestones possible or even just expunging a whole paragraph before publishing due to his input…but then I pause here and wonder what do you say about a person who was always the first one to give you feedback after a piece written? A person who became your official second follower after The gayte-keeper? A person who’s ready to prepare for a mission just to go and help a stranger!

Cole: Live and love life.....Defy Gravity!

Stephane: Ditto!!Hoping to make your evening with comments. Actually have you thought on writing about interracial couples? How this bloody mzungu (Caucasian) is stupidly in love... I think I'm reaching my penispause!

Yes,

Everything. Everyone. Everywhere. Ends. The last time I posted this on my Timeline, Steph didn’t hesitate to say that that’s how he kinda lived his life. If you think I don’t have my facts right, just go through his article:  Grim, Grey and Smokey. 

T.S.R has not only lost a friend or one of its greatest brains but also a mentor and a meaningful contact that was available and not necessarily upon request. I’m really devastated. 

Mis condolencias profundas y sentidas van a su galán Kyle, la Madre Estrella Benito, Lynda de’ Ben’, Eric de ‘Benito, la familia Benito .en su totalidad, amigos enormes de Steph y contactos significativos (Esto también debe pasar a amigos) y cualquier otra persona que estuviera orgullosa de tener que ver con esta estrella.

He may be gone but his spirit shall live on. His spirit of being too kind, intelligent , wise and above all, his resilience when dealing with all and sundry. 

Vaya Con Dios amigo mio :’(

 Cole Mutahi