Every gay man’s fantasy is to find a good man who loves him, protects him and provides for him-Ok, this last one is pretty boys’ biggest fantasy. But the world seems to be running short of such men and finding them and keeping them proves to be an uphill task that many can't manage. Here’s an extract of a conversation I had with my guy friends. The big question was: Are there good gay men? Good is a relative term here.
Ray Sean: Guys, let’s look at this from another point
of view. Why do we attract the Mr. Wrongs?
Bugz: Ray, it ain't that we attract Mr. Wrong;
I think we fear being alone and want to belong thus jump on the first guy
Charlz: It’s like it’s destined that right people
get the wrong ones and vice versa
Ray Sean: Nope, I do not agree. We are the
cause, we see what we want to see but not what is true and deception starts
there!
Bugz: …and why do that? We’re desperate to
belong. Reason I’m re-evaluating my priorities
Ray Sean: That is another perspective. And we do
lie to ourselves mostly and get to over rate ourselves and others
…and lots of wishful thinking that we
choose to perceive as the truth.
Bugz: The pressure of wanting to be loved
can blind you not to see the faults of the potential man.
Ray Sean: Besides, we just do not want to
cultivate our own standards and values and be loyal to them
Charlz: I am loyal to mine…
Bugz: Charlz, no offence taken but you want
to tell me you've got Mr. Right? Most guys in relationships are there coz they
don't want to be single.
Charlz: Nope...not right but I feel despite
all that we go through together we are able to sit down talk n come out as
one...
Ray Sean: Bugz, if you love yourself in the
first place and appreciate your self-worth and not enslave yourself to
brainwashed beliefs... I think you will maximize your HBP
Bugz: Charlz you have a point but not all
issues can be talked through especially those to do with trust and honesty. Too
many personal standards and values take the back seat when it comes to love
resulting in guys selling themselves short.
Ray Sean: What I know is that Mr. Right comes
from within you. Know who you are, love and accept that and your matches will
appear before you!
Charlz: Embracing dialogue is the most
important thing in a relationship. Accepting ones’ mistakes and to be corrected
is a plus.
Bugz: I couldn't have said it better bi*ches.
Know what you want and don't compromise…Just don't set your standards too high
and also don't compromise in the name of love. Don't take shit, unfaithfulness in
the name of making it work. Honey, you’ll be doomed.
Ray Sean: …and it would be a whole different
story, the fairytales we talk about would be a reality. (Smiles)
(Ooops, let's get your usual Music going....)
The above conversation got me thinking,
many of us are looking for the good men but they are hindered by:-
·
Fear of being
alone.
·
Desperation (Even the
pretty boys’ code detests this)
·
Overrating
ourselves and others. (Just because you want to look cool)
·
Pressure from
self and peers.
·
Lack of self-worth,
values and standards. (Honey, you must define your fine self)
·
Lack of
trust, honesty and communication in relationships. (Do I even
need to explain this?)
·
Compromising
and justifying shortcomings and faults in relationships...Oh and excuses when
the relationship is on the rocks!
These reasons and others make us fail to
find good men to love us. So, if
you've been wondering why you keep falling for Mr. Wrong or out of all the
frogs and toads you’ve kissed, none of them has turned into a handsome prince.
It's time you re-evaluate your life and love priorities, and don't you lose
hope yet your PRINCE CHARMING is waiting on the horizon…The others
are wrong for the job!
"I’m not single. I’m not committed.
I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves me…"
Bugz M.
One word Bugz...Feisty!
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