By Cole Mutahi.
It’s been ages since we got something going on
here. Never mind in a writer’s world every article counts just so you know. A
date I managed to share a conversation with calls it writer’s block but hey I
don’t think I’m there yet. It’s just that since my three or so week hiatus out
of the city, things seem to have changed a bit, duties have been on the
incremental and I seem to be losing myself in the midst of it all. Talk about
first world pains!
To add insult to injury, of late I’ve been
getting so concerned about the issue of growing old. Maybe it’s because of some
two guys who have rubbing their age agenda on my face. Men are just so obvious
at times! Speaking of getting old there are some very wise sentiments I’ve been
learning as a young gay man in the scene from older men in my inane life.
(Let
me share with you some great song that was originally by Cohen. Please listen
to it keenly. I find it really appealing for this article before we go to those
things older men are planting in my head):
- Reinvent
People get bored with the same old shit and
society puts pressure on everyone and everything to be different. So always try
as much as you can to turn around your already fucked up life occasionally.
Further, it stimulates further interest from not only your men quarters but also
everyone generally. Reinventing yourself in this life means that you will never
be predictable. Meredith Brooks further opines in her ‘B.I.T.C.H’ song: Just
when you think you got me figured out, the season is already changing…
- Honey, don’t struggle to impress me…
In your skinnies, all accessorized and carrying
your man purse whose contents are definitely sinful, you are heading out for a
night of fun with that 30 something guy you’ve been playing hard to get for.
The club was great. Check. The guy drives a 4WD. Hmm…check. OMG The guy has an
apartment on Wood Avenue, Kilimani! Check (considering you still live in Kayole
and you’d told him you stay with your Uncle off Gitanga Road)...and his
bedroom, Gosh! He’s definitely in touch with his feminine side so you
definitely sleep with him. Now the problem is this he promised to call. Nothing
after a week even that tryst he promised at The Junction Mall next Saturday isn’t
forthcoming. Then you do what pretty boys’ love doing best: Making Excuses for
a fellow gay man (who’s probably screwing and/or getting screwed elsewhere). ‘Maybe he’s busy or he’s on a work trip…or maybe
I was so bad in bed…but he said we’ll…?’ Here is where the older men told
me they got a PhD in screwing up with
a young mind even if we put all those defenses of I’m independent, I’m mature,
I know what I want etc. I think it’s time we got real. Maybe I’m daft but I
never see why we make up all these excuses just to look sophisticated. It’s
easier when you do it with your peers but one lesson from the older folk is
that they’ve been in this trade for a damn long time that they know the things
that make us go gaga! Oh then they leave us high and dry…The policy is I want
you, I’ll get you and I’ll be done with you sooner than you realize.
- Get your heart broken…Not once
Okay you guys definitely know that I have some far-fetched
and misplaced beliefs in love and other meaningless pursuits. Here is the deal.
Everyone has that moment in their queer life where he wants to feel value and a
sense of belonging other than just being serviced by any horny stranger they
meet online. The older guys opine that I
am still growing and mirroring the opinions of movies and lifestyle magazines that
I have a crush on and need to get my act together. They unanimously decided
that I get my heart broken several times and only then will I decipher this
love shit that everyone seems to be selling in the 21st C.
- Read something
Not many of us are academics considering the
sorry state of our education system which I’ve criticized in another forum but
there is just something about reading. I’m not talking about reading that bitch’s
Facebook updates or the latest issue of Kama sutra sex positions…There is just something
about reading. You end up accumulating all these new ideas and not only launch
them into unsuspecting humans but also build your diction and thinking
generally…
- Date a lot
Here is the thing, Dr. Clark in one of the
articles he did here for us here at TSR told us about how gay men put a lot of ‘quality
expectations’ on their fellows yet they lack the same. I have been taught that
I need to date a lot (not just sex a lot).The great thing here is that when you
go out on a date you really get to know people even if they end up in your bed
but at least you establish some sort of connection and calmness (Crap! What the
hell am I talking about?) Further, when you go on several dates you appreciate
diversity and differences in men, their thinking, values and ambition. This
builds your confidence and helps you grow in a way. I guess even when in a relationship, it is
okay to go out for those platonic coffee trysts that you get to be invited for…you
will always learn something in these things.
- There exists a pretty boy older guys keep a safe distance but want…
He’s in all probability not affluent, still
growing, got school going on, dresses pretty well (even if the clad is from Gikomba Market) and is fascinated by the
latest technology. Not so keen on cars since he’s not there yet but can throw a
compliment or two for yours. Has a vibrant social life and only dates a
specific type of guys. Mostly it’s because he has some needs to be taken care
of (sexual and not necessarily material) but expressly makes that clear on a
first date so that he doesn’t find himself in a compromising situation. (Remember Izaak M said a Pretty boy has
needs). He will never call you but texts you occasionally just to prove he
communicates and he won’t keep you on phone for more than 2 minutes. He shall
meet you at specific times and you have no direct right to his weekend
schedules where he’s mostly outdoors with friends. He never comments on your wealth
or financial standing and doesn’t even look amused about it. He’s mastered the
art of being classy however humble a background he may have. He’ll get you a
gift with the pocket money he gets from his parent or guardian. He will never
say I love you but when he does he’ll really mean it. Succinctly put: he never
puts his life on hold for anyone even if you dazzle or shower him with niceties…
His fellow pretty boys’ love to hate him and it’s
very justifiable since he has seen us (all familiar faces from a chapter of his
fuc*ed up past) having lunch with someone he recognizes from Tacos and or
Gypsies.
He smiles with a tinged look and draws some conclusion:
Why is it that when they are over 35 and want to fuck a 19-year-old they have
to feed them first? What a strategic waste of hotness!
Regards,
Cole M
No comments:
Post a Comment
What did you think about this article?