You got to rule the world Bi*ches!

Phew! Now that was good exercise! Hey, before your clouded minds start wandering, I’m not talking about  ‘s – exercise’ here. Oops! I think that was a wrong start, let’s give it a second shot. As I pen this, I’m still topless after some calming warm shower keying in my thoughts away. Did I ever tell you that in the recent past I’ve added some few Kilos? Well, now you know. That’s what has been keeping me on toes. At least one day each week I spend 30 minutes walking all in the name of maintaining that lean body that fits within those parameters in our dating sites. Yes, I actually walk from the CBD. I’ve never figured out why I can never walk beyond Prestige yet home must be much nearer from there maybe middle class pressure? You know, someone who knows me may see me and they may think I don't have fare! In this particular one I took 45 minutes. It’s always refreshing to walk all that way, you know. Build some few castles (read as Tafaria) in the air, appreciate MEN kind – Seriously. It helps you single out the fine attributes you want in a man. In my case I’ve just  realized that my men need not only be tall but also have this loose sense of handsomeness that you notice shortly, not immediately – and it's also a perfect avenue for deciding what to talk about in T.S.R. like for instance I finally have a backup story for next week’s piece on high maintenance boys and/or gay diggers (gay version of a gold digger). This coming weekend is likely to be full of calorie intake so I have to create room for next week’s trek. In two weeks I can call it off and limit it to my weekend cycling sessions now that those scratches have fully healed.

Last week was great after I left the T.S.R studios safe for having to help one of my senior friends’  colleague  clients go make queries at JKIA just because he got lost while flying in prohibited airspace during the past weekend! Can you imagine how classy some people’s problems are, damn! Since it’s official some of you people blossom on grapevine, who am I to keep quiet about it? So there I was over the weekend after having some awesome breakfast date with a gentleman whose qualities are disputed, I later went to window-shop for a cake. I got samples and I’m still tasting them. Tee (the dude I was yapping about last week a.k.a shag buddy) was in town briefly but had a dry spell since I always have this tradition of having a temporary and unjustified man cleanse a fortnight to my birthday. He opined that the lemon cake I got is just green food color and doesn’t have any sour flavor therein. He still didn’t understand why I was busy having pizza (large) for lunch for someone who is trying to bring sexy back.  He is definitely right but I’m sure it won’t make much difference. He further reiterated his wishes in us getting steady?? Here is where you join me and we all say: Oh Em Gee! And here I was thinking that it’s only pretty boys who usually turn a simple fuck into some sort of engagement. This guy is now figuratively (I mean, literally he has) becoming a pain in my a**! Kindly save him in your memories, I don’t think we’ve seen the last of him.

So I’m now (almost) a year shy of a quarter of a century. It has got me thinking. It has been a good year for me. More work, extra bake, extra opportunities, less men. All my resolutions this year have been substantially met and I’m living on bonuses. I think it was geared to be this way. At times the universe simply disorganizes you in order to reinvent you. Neatly put: prepare you to rule the world.

There is no party this weekend since I lack the luxury of time and the cakes have been categorically done for the colleagues; there is also the one for family and a spare one for the house (doesn’t necessarily include me) I know there is also this Halloween gig as well organized by the capable Risha who I have been thinking should come here and teach some of us business. The senior Mutahi being in town means I have to entertain him and dragging him to a place where he’s likely to meet his future brother(s) – in – law in masks and scary costumes is off limits.  I will have to find a way to conveniently sneak off after that Saturday family dinner. This is the problem with being a gay man in Africa. Who wants those impromptu prayers of deliverance performed on them! 

I remember with nostalgia when I was nineteen. That is when I really stopped that self – destructing zega men go through when they are trying to accept their sorry selves. In my view it’s usually the hardest part in a zega man’s life. Some end up being used and abused then further evolve only to get branded as resident hoes known for their generosity. Whereas some resort to adverse situations where suicide becomes an option, some manage to pick a few cues from all these experiences and become first class bitches, and I say this with a lot of admiration because I’ve been branded one. Personally, I know my loyalties have always been with men since I was eight or even earlier but this is a story for another day. When you realize that praying and fasting isn’t working, when porn becomes your dinner and dusk breakfast, when a few strange men leave you cold, ashamed and lying naked on the floor minus a senseless disease just yearning for more, that’s when you realize that you need to rule the world.  

Zega men boast of very admirable qualities in addition to many of the stereotypes associated with them but then we've also become our own worst enemies. What we fail to realize is that we are on our own and need a support system where we protect our own, help each other evolve or help the weak among us discover the best in themselves. The thing we all got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it! 

As I make a transition this week, I’m going to perfect that and positively influence our people to follow this direction through those small but important deeds. Meet a need as the former GALCK boss once put it? Of course I still maintain I've no patience or time for people who wear their insecurities on their sleeves like badges of honor. You know where that gets us. Reminds me of an old boy who once said that no one should wait for light at the end of the tunnel. Get your ass down there and light it yourself!

Cole Mutahi.